We'll call her Rizzo for this story.
She stopped halfway down the hall and stared at me (as if she knew me). I thought she was joking because her 'seductive look' was way past melodramatic. She gets to me and tells me how nice looking I am.
She hugs me.
I thank her for being so friendly and quickly get their money and usher them into the bar.
She was with a friend who was clearly unhappy about coming into the bar and proceeded to leave unhappiness in her wake.
I proceeded to watch her dance (terribly) and to single out the few men that were not with dates and/or those who were too weak or slow to run from her.
Finally, her friend had enough and the cab was called. Rizzo made her way toward me in the awkward overstated seductive hip swaying movement. Eyes locked on me and says "Hi... shoulda known you were the best thing in here when I first walked in and now when I am leaving."
I tried not to laugh and smiled.
Rizzo proceeded to try, with claws out, to snare me. She is dancing in front of me seductively (which was like watching someone with motor control problems at a physical therapy session).
She leaned her back against the wall and says "I ate my way through Portland today... hummus, pitas, fries, lots of wine... LOTS of wine."
She then arches her back and slides her shoulders down the wall a bit (belly protruding outward). For a second I was in a panic that she was going to grab her own crotch but then her hand just sat on her belly and she says:
"That's right... I ate my way through Portland - Can you see it?"
I bust out laughing. I cannot tell you how ridiculous this whole scene is. At this point several of my coworkers are getting a good laugh. The cell phone captures are courtesy of one of them.
She takes my laughter as encouragement (apparently) and moves toward me.
She turns around and somehow parks her backside in my lap. I put both of my hands on either side of her hips as she tried to lean back into me and I politely moved her away from me.
She took the hands signal all wrong and tried to move my hands to her bottom. Thankfully her friend came in the door and said "Come on... the cab is HERE"
Rizzo turned around, hugged me, kissed my cheek and says "I have to go now... I am never coming back"
I say "Thanks for coming down to the bar and having fun dancing... have a safe trip"
Rizzo replies "You know... I am from California where girls are wild! Us California girls know how to have fun."
I say "I know... that's why I married one."
She kissed my cheek again and walked away, swaying those hips in a most odd way.
Good luck to you Rizzo.
