Living with Autism - Part Four

Communication:
How do you communicate with someone who is non-verbal?

I know that I take for granted something as simple as communication, often. Communication is such a vital part of how we exist in a community. Its everywhere from your own little family, circle of friends, co-workers, the general public, etc.

Sam has yet to officially speak any words. This is another reason (in an endless number of reasons) that we are watching Sam constantly during his waking hours.

Unofficially, Sam has said somewhere around a half dozen words. We have heard things that seemed to be used in context and are optimistic that they were actual words. At school he has also done the same thing but only on rare occasions. Whether he has or not, the day to day routine finds Jen and I in a communication funk with our boy.

We parents know our children pretty darn well. Observant and attentive parents have a knack for knowing what their kids need without having to communicate with them verbally (Parents: you know as a parent when your child is hungry, grumpy, not feeling well or may be on the verge of needing a restroom. You know when they are tired, bored, angry, crazy, etc. often you are able to discern their needs without using words)

It is only in the last year (of Sam being 4) that his communication skills have been evolving.


Here's an example of some things Sam uses to communicate:

Thirsty/Hungry:
Sam will go to the kitchen and get a cup out of the kids food/drink drawer (this drawer is filled with an assortment of plastic bowls, plates, and drink cups). If an adult is in the kitchen, he will get their attention (usually by reaching for their hand, grabbing it, then tugging the adult and cup to the fridge. He sets the cup against the fridge, or points with it, and makes sounds.

For food, it is much the same. When the snack cabinet ends up open (we keep all cabinets locked and closed ideally at all times but we have forgetful moments, as humans) we can find Sam picking through the assortment of foods in the cabinet.

Bedtime:
In recent months, Sam has really been active in communicating that it is bedtime by trotting back to the master bedroom, hopping into bed, pulling back the comforter, climbing into bed, pulling the comforter up to cover himself and really there are not many ways to misinterpret what he's after here.

Potty Time:
2010 will be the year we focus on the difficult task ahead of us. If you thought potty training was hard for your normally developing child think again. How do I explain what it is like to diaper a 4 year old child who has a penchant for being naked, pees on the floor or furniture, and who will treat his poop like playdough if given the opportunity?

Sam has been changing his communication lately to give us some hope here. He has, on many occasions, gone to the toilet and stood there (mimicking me) he also will sit for about 20 - 30 seconds on the potty seat. There is some promise here.

Wants/Needs:
Sam is very emotional. He is very loving and sweet and shows his affections with cuddling, hugging, and kissing. On the other end of the spectrum is Sam's wild side. When he gets manic he is in need of physical stimulus. He likes to wrestle and get very physical. If we are not fulfilling the right kind of physical exertion he needs it is common for Sam to set forth on a path of destruction. This can be very exhausting and emotionally draining. We often find ourselves spending a lot of time cleaning up spilled boxes of crackers or cereal, chewed up and spit out food, shredded magazines or newspapers. Nothing is safe regardless of the level of Sam-Proofing.

The coming new year finds both Jen and I feeling optimistic. We feel that Sam will continue to evolve as far as communication is concerned.