Living with Autism - Part Two

Routines(part two):
Before I embark on this post, I wanted to mention that the photos you see here in my blog have been taken by my amazingly talented and wildly successful artist of a wife. A professional photographer in Portland, Oregon who specializes in natural light photography of families, babies, children, pregnant women, occasional weddings and more. You can check her site out HERE

Now, I'll get on with it already!

I believe that one of the things that affects our lives each day (adults I suppose) that we take for granted is our routines. Sure, some of us celebrate them or certain aspects of them; morning paper, cup of coffee or tea, listening to a radio show, going to the same coffee shop, etc.



While we celebrate these aspects of our own routines, I have become hyper-aware of our how I have taken for granted my creature comforts found in 'routines' and how our own family routines are essential to Sam's development. I am confident when I say that I think that both Jen and I are this way.

Since Sam returned to school this Fall, I have watched him hold on tightly to routines and make them vital to his day. Lately things have been evolving as Sam seems to be forming more of his own opinion on these routines (independence).

On Monday, Wednesday and Thursday Sam gets up in the morning and runs out to the family room for some PBS Kids Television. The sound of his thumping little feet makes me happy. Jen and I swoop in to orchestrate this elaborate dance of getting lunch made, breakfast in both Zoe and Sam, and in no time we've got kids clothes on them and making the push out the door and off to school.

I take both kids to school in the morning often. This has allowed me to see how Sam has been grasping, little by little, at more independence. He has gone from being very clingy and wanting to be carried through the river of kids and parents pouring through the corridor at school to insisting that he walk on his own (but refuses to break connection with me or Jen by either holding onto pants, pockets, or leaning into our leg).

Sam has also been changing his routine when he gets into the classroom. Previously, he would require lots of help getting his backpack, coat, etc. situated in his cubby. Now he insists on hanging his own things up.

When I pick Sam up from school lately, I have been letting him walk to the car. I would never have done this a few months back (fearing that he may run straight into the street).


On several occasions (over the past month) Sam and I have been going out to lunch together. He really enjoys doing this with me and we really tend to have a delightful time with each other.

If we go home rather than going out, Sam knows that it is time for Lunch at his little table and he gets to watch Sesame Street. He will come in, take off his shoes, backpack, coat, etc. and he marches over to the little table (one of those bed tables with folding legs) to set it up.

It's pretty sweet to watch him do this with such joy.

Afternoons are one area where routines seem to be lacking. I feel that I need to come up with some new creative solutions there.

We do little things here and there; wrestle, look at books, a movie or recorded show like 'Bear in the Big Blue House'. In warm weather Sam prefers to be in the back yard which is a 'no brainer' but winter puts that play on hold.

We soon arrive at dinner time. This is a routine that seems to be very challenging. Sam does not like to sit still. We battle with him continually to sit, return to the table, or to get off the table.


After dinner comes bedtime. Sam really enjoys this routine (for the most part). Nearly every night I take him to bed. He prefers to have his blanket, a drink of rice milk in a sippy cup, and a pacifier (which we call Phigh Phigh - a word that Zoe created when she was a toddler).

This is the only time that I sing anymore. I am not sure why Sam is the recipient of this rare gift, but he loves it and shows it by signing 'more' and by hand clapping.

When Sam is restless I have been resorting to applying pressure through squeezing him tight (but not too tight), massaging him, compressing his joints (arms and legs) and sometimes I have to lay on top of him (not with my full weight of course, just so that I am on my hands and knees and lower down to help compress him and slow him down a bit.

Most nights it takes about 25 minutes to get him to sleep. On good nights it is 10 minutes and on bad nights it can be more than an hour.

This routine has been going on for a couple of years now (ever since Sam was able to escape from his crib). I expect for it to continue for some time to come. I have come to find myself in love with this time more than feeling burdened by it. The bad nights however, can be very exasperating and trying on the 'love' in this process.

Because of the importance in these routines I have begun to appreciate the things I enjoy more (reading the paper, coffee, breakfast dates with Jen, dropping kids off at school, homework with Zoe, and the list goes on).